Mother’s Day hits on Sunday, and you’re pondering what to get that special woman in your life. It’s simple: Your mom (or wife or sister) needs time — time to spend with family, time to work on a special project, time to read a book, time to think. Hmmm, how can you buy her time? It probably is not on sale at Macy’s, or in a small robin’s-egg blue box from you-know-where. Available from an online shopping site with expedited shipping? Nope.

You can buy time at Rocklands.

Order a Feast for Five for Mother’s Day. Come in and pick it up. Feed the whole family a tasty, easy meal — on paper plates. Laugh a lot, particularly at how little Mikey got barbeque sauce in his hair.

Now that’s a gift of time.

Here’s the scoop on the Feast for Five:

• One rack of baby-back ribs
• Two half-chickens (yes, it’s a whole chicken, but we wanted you to know it’s in two pieces)
• One pound of chopped pork (a lot)
• Our classic potato rolls
• Three pints of accompaniments, your choice (our spring broccoli slaw is a hit this time of year)
• ROCKLANDS Original Barbeque Sauce

Love it. May is officially National Barbeque Month. A whole month devoted to great smoky aromas, and fall-off-the-bone meat, and tangy sauces. This is MUCH better than National Dental-Care Month.

What, you might ask, should I do to celebrate this tasty month?

Very simple: Sometime in the next 31 days, introduce a friend to true barbeque. You know those folks out there, the ones who have never pulled the meat off a baby-back rib. Bring someone like that into Rocklands in May — or heck, if you’re not in the area, just bring them to the nearest real barbeque place, one that smokes meat over wood.

You have 31 days to be the best friend ever. Go!

You know them as the people who keep your business on track, or who make sure your kid’s lost backpack stays in the front office, or who organize lunch for the office retreat. Everyone recognizes them — and says thanks! — on Administrative Professionals Day.

This year, why not buy your favorite administrators lunch from Rocklands? We’ll do all the work — bring the food, set it up, even have someone there to serve if you’re getting the whole office in on this. And hey, the barbeque smell wafting through your hallways will make the whole office WANT in on this.

Our delivery menus are simple. One lists set lunches starting at $11.99 per person, or you can order from the à la carte menu to get just what you want. You’ll find links to both menus on the catering page, or you can just call us at 703-778-8000 and we’ll set you up.

Those of you who’ve been here before know the drill: One special spring day, you walk into your favorite Rocklands and find a whole barbequed pig displayed on the front table. Crackling skin, melting smoky meat, yummy fixings. Your friendly Rocklands crew member slices you off a chunk or two — complimentary tastes! — and while you wait for your lunch you nibble on your pork-a-tizer.

That day is next Thursday, April 26.

Pig Pull starts at 11 am at each Rocklands, and we’ll slice until there is no more. It’s a little thank you to all of you who come to Rocklands regularly, and a tasty teaser for first-timers. It’s also our subtle way of reminding you that we can barbeque a whole pig for any occasion you throw at us.

So, who are YOU bringing to Rocklands for lunch next Thursday?

For those of you who have — ahem — put off buying your tickets to “Shed Your Coat” on our Arlington patio: What are you waiting for?

We’re not waiting. The oysters are sourced, the pig’s on order, we’re wondering what guest bartender Susan Anderson will cook up for drinks. The patio has been spruced and spritzed, and we’re banking on some of this lovely spring weather we’ve been having.

Come join us for the oyster roast and pig pull next week, Thursday, April 19. Tickets are only $20, and can be purchased online here. All the proceeds go to support Doorways for Women and Families, the kind of vital and valued organization that makes us proud to be part of the Arlington community.

For every single detail about the event, you can look at this.

For the past few years — four, to be exact — we’ve partnered with Doorways for Women and Families to kick off our Arlington patio season. On Thursday, April 19, from 5:00 to 8:00 pm, Rocklands will officially open the Arlington patio with a special Doggy Yappy Hour to benefit Doorways. Two-legged guests will “shed” their (clean) winter coats into donation boxes, then mingle on the patio munching on pork pulled from a whole roast pig and fresh oysters roasted over a wood fire and drinking happy hour specials from the bar. (Four-legged guests are welcome and we’ll have treats!)

A double sawbuck gets you the delicious food AND your first raffle ticket. We’ll be encouraging you to buy more raffle tickets — $5 chances for great prizes — and to tip your bartender outrageously: We’re donating the food, so all cash proceeds will go directly to Doorways. You can buy tickets here.

Doorways is feeling the crunch of the economy two ways these days: Harder to get contributions, and more people in need of the kind of practical, immediate help Doorways provides. We hope you’ll come out and support a good cause by eating great food.

Your team is in, your team is out. Where do you stand on March Madness? Are you still excited? Were you ever excited?

We can’t really fix the basketball side of things. What we CAN fix — and how — is the buffet-table side of things. Our March Madness specials are sized for 4, 8 and 16 (get it?). Each one is GENEROUSLY proportioned, meaning that when a couple extra folks show up, you will not lack for good barbeque.

So picture it now: A full coffee table in front of the big screen, the aroma of wood-smoked barbeque wafting gently over the screeching fans, you raising your own chopped pork sandwich dripping with Rocklands Original Barbeque Sauce . . .

Ahhhh, nothing but net.

363 days* a year, our grillmasters are flipping smoky ribs, rich salmon and tasty marinated veggies over our wood fires. For one week, we give them delicious wild meats and fish to prepare HOWEVER they choose — it’s “Grills Gone Wild,” the 2012 edition!

Remember the muskrat last year? This year we searched far and wide for our unusual ingredients. Alligator — bring in your 10-year-old and tell him he’s having alligator stew for supper. Wild beaver. Wild halibut (meltingly delicious). And — yup — mountain oysters.

The “Grills Gone Wild” menu kicks off on Monday, March 5 and runs through Saturday, March 10. That’s a short time to get in and try each delectable dish — but in our humble opinion it would be worth it. Take a look at the menu below:

• Alligator Brunswick Stew served with Honey Jalapeño Cornbread — $7.99
• Wild Beaver Sausages and Greens served with Tzatziki Sauce — $7.99
• Grilled Wild Halibut with Caramelized Onion Rice served with Mango Salsa — $13.99
• Beef Fries … a/k/a Mountain Oysters & Fries served with Thai Curried Red Pepper Cream Sauce — $6.99

*If you’re counting, we’re only closed on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Once again, Washington City Paper is asking for YOUR opinion, on a multitude of things: What do you love about living in Washington? Music, people, quirky bits and — of course — food.

We’ve won “Best BBQ” for the past few years, and we’re in the running again this year. If you love Rocklands and think we’re still leading the way in DC’s lively barbeque scene, won’t you vote for us again this year?

Here’s a quick link to Rockland’s voting page, just to make it easy for you. Thank you for your support.

And since it’s an election year, we should probably say: “We are Rocklands, and we endorse this message.”

Oh, when our eyes meat, I get weak in the ribs…

You are the grill mark of love.

I ♥ chopped barbequed pork.

U R my corn pudding.

Who needs hot sauce? I have you.

The above are our entries into the contest to rewrite those little candy hearts. We know, we know, we have to cut the lengths down a bit — but hey, it’s a start. And by the way, our Valentine’s Day menu is hot to trot for you right here.